Harapan

Pernah tak korang terlalu mengharapkan seseorang tu jadi seperti yang korang nak?
Terlalu tinggi harapan kita, bila tak terpenuhi, hati mula kecewa.
Perlahan-lahan hati terluka.
Sampai satu tahap, harapan pudar dengan sendiri.
Mulut terkunci.
Membawa diri.
Mungkin lebih baik mendiamkan diri, menjauhkan diri.

Ingin saja kaki ini melangkah jauh, lari dari fantasiku.
Tapi sekarang berbeza dengan dahulu.

Andai saja aku dapat terbang bebas dari angan-anganku....
Andai saja...

Alpa

Kadang manusia tertanya-tanya
Kenapa bahagia tak kunjung tiba
Kenapa senyuman tak pernah dikecapi

Sedangkan mereka lupa
Bahwa diri mereka semakin jauh dari Sang Pencipta.

-anna15

Bodoh

Bodoh ke aku
Jika memaafkan dan memberi peluang lagi

Bodoh ke aku
Mempercayai insan yang mengkhianati kepercayaan aku

Bodoh ke aku
Pura-pura tersenyum sedangkan hati masih menangis

Bodoh ke aku
Terus setia sedangkan dia?

-anna15

Jemu

Takkan setiap kali kantoi nak kene marah.

Manusia ada tahap kesabaran. The limit varies. Mungkin hari ini kau anggap benda ni perkara kecik. Kecik bagi kau, tak bermakna kecik bagi aku.

Mungkin hari ini hati ini masih dengan kau.
Tapi kalau kau terus uji kesabaran hati ini,
Mungkin kaki ini akan melangkah pergi, jauh.

Mungkin.
Try me.

#merapu pagi buta. #janganingatakubodoh

Eh ape ko ingat ni instagram ke nak berhashtag bagai. Nite. Haha

mistakes

Yesterday, I made a really huge mistake,
That I only realize it Today.

But it is too late,
The heart I hurt, is really hurting,
That the word Sorry will never working,
Again.

You,
For a thousand times,
I am really Sorry,
I am.

-annaharun15

uneasy feeling

avoiding 'that' issue

when the family wanna discuss it

when the friends ask bout it

and when i feel irritable about it

just not gonna solve the problem.

question is,

do i still have that feeling

the exact same feeling?

sacrifice

Maybe,

I sacrifice too much

in this relationship.

But,

I wonder,

will people do the same thing for me?

***********

You love me,

You know that.

You miss me too much,

You know that.

You care bout me,

You know that.

But still

You are giving excuses

hundred of them

To distance our feelings

Just to make sure I'm happy

To see my smile again.

But

The one who crying in the end

Is you.

-Anna14

**************

you mean everything to me

if only you read this, i dedicated this song to you... *saya jumpa lagu ni pon kat blog awak gak*

You are the answer to my lonely prayer
You are an angel from above
I was so lonely till you came to me
With the wonder of your love

I don't know how I ever lived before
You are my life
My destiny
Oh, my darling
I love you so
You mean everything to me

If you should ever, ever go away
There would be lonely tears to cry
The sun above would be never shine again
There would be teardrops in the sky

So hold me close and never let me go
And say our love will always be
Oh, my darling
I love you so
You mean everything to me (you mean everything to me)

So hold me close and never let me go
And say our love will always be
Oh, my darling
I love you so
You mean everything to me


#song #songslyric 

Ruang

Mungkin kau perlukan ruang

Untuk berfikir

Dan aku tak akan mengganggu...

dan mendesak...

after all, 

cinta ikhlas itu

bukanlah yang dipaksa.

- banyak bende nak tulis tapi tak terungkap oleh kata-kata, biarlah bermain di fikiran.

Again, Sorry

Aku berdoa pada Tuhan
Agar Dia memberikan yang terbaik buat kita
Sejujurnya,
Aku bukanlah yang terbaik buat kamu

Maybe you deserve someone better than me,
Someone that can take care of your heart,
Someone who can spend time with you,
Someone who can take care of your life.

I am sorry
For anything that happen in the future.

Mudah untuk mengungkap kata Maaf
Tapi luka di hati kau
Tak akan pernah aku dapat sembuhkan....

Cinta terakhir

dear MNA,

sorry for hurting your heart

sorry for not keeping our promises

sorry if i'm change

sorry if i keep making you cry

usah ragu dengan takdir

mungkin kita kan berbeza haluan

but you are the most wonderful story in my life...

Kedua cintaku

Lately, there are two faces keep playing in my mind, day n night. Yeah, Two faces of my love. It is not that I just remember them at time like this. They stay in my heart forever. And ever and no one can replace their place. Maybe I'm a little homesick, ok fine, really really Homesick, although I will be home in a week time, insyaAllah with Allah's will.

I just hope this semester break, I will do something good and be a helpful daughter instead of being such a lazy, useless daughter like I always be. I just don't want to be a burden to them anymore, but it's hard, to change those attitudes, and I've tried so many times. But never quit trying.

Google

Untuk kedua cintaku,
Diri ini tidak sabar untuk pulang ke pangkuanmu
Rindu akan peluk ciummu
Rindu akan senyumanmu

Aku ingin sekali menjadi anak yang terbaik buatmu
Maafkanku jika seringkali menyakiti hatimu
Maafkanku jika sering membuat hatimu risau akan kedegilanku
Maafkanku bila membebankan mu

Sorry for being too emotional. Just miss my parents so much. And I have exams to face before going home. And i don't want to disappoint them but I'm really miss home so much. And it happen all times. At the very last block of the semester. Although I'm in sixth semester now, If u know what I mean. =(

Wake up u young lady.... Home never run, but time does.

*Sorry for bad English writing, again. Blame the google translate. Haha...

Let it hurts...

.These feelings, I never show them.

.Hidden deep inside my heart, the feelings grow faster than I expected.

.Never try to delete them nor throw away.

.Just let it stay, but it hurts.

.Don't have the courage, to speak louder.

.Heart hurts too much along with time, which passes faster and faster.

.Never get the chance to heal itself.

.But it is a good one.

.Even if I get the chance to cure, I will refuse.

.The chance to delete them, also will be rejected.

.Because it teaches me everything.

.It let me be matured than I am before.

.It let me deal with my world better than past.

.Or can I said, the best.

.But the worst, I can't cry, to show my feelings.

.Just because, don't want the person who care bout me, worried too much.

*actually, got no idea to update blog since two weeks ago. Just wrote whatever happen to be in my mind right now. ^__^

After all, that is life...

It always hard,

Whenever it comes to feeling.

People always leave,

Whenever you put a big hope on them.

You always sacrifice your tears,

Although no one appreciate them.

You always get hurt,

When you show your care to someone,

But she/he ignores you.

But your heart hurts much,

When your friends/beloved one leave you,

For misunderstanding matters. 

After all,

That is life.

Pedih kehilangan

Kehidupan memerlukan kita menyayangi orang lain. Mungkin satu, dua atau lebih. Kita yakin kita dapat menyayangi insan lain selama hidup kita. Memori dicipta, untuk menyerikan lagi hubungan kasih sayang yang diharapkan tidak ada akhirnya.

Namun satu saat pasti kita akan merasai pengalaman perit, pengalaman yang meruntuhkan segala harapan dan impian kita. Saat di mana kadang kita rasa tidak ada arah tuju. Kadang kita terlalu meratapi sehingga menyalahkan takdir. Saat di mana insan yang kita sayangi, tiada lagi di sisi kita.

Runtuh segala impian yang kita bina bersama. Dia pergi di atas ketentuan Ilahi. Meninggalkan kita sendiri, tanpa sebarang amaran awal. Dan saat itu, dunia gelap di pandangan mata. Udara seakan-akan tiada lagi untuk dihidu.

Sampai bila harus begini, hidup perlu diteruskan. Itu kata-kata normal dan wajib didengar di cuping telinga kita, diucapkan oleh orang sekeliling yang masih setia di sisi kita. Namun, perit di hati kita berbeza-beza. Tahap kepedihan bergantung pada sejauh mana rasa sayang kita. Untuk melupakan dalam sekelip mata, memang mustahil. Rasa bengang, marah pada orang sekeliling yang seakan-akan tidak memahami perasaan kita.

Tapi haruslah kita ingat. Sejauh mana rasa perit kehilangan itu, Dia ada di sana untuk membantu kita. Selama mana kita perlu untuk meratapi, Dia tetap menunggu, setia untuk mendengar segala kepedihan hati. Kerana kelak, kita juga akan kembali padaNya.

hard to put our trust on people

Feel too stupid when I thought I can cure the wound on you, left by someone else. Yet when the wound heals, I am all alone again.

Terluka. Memang mudah hati nak terluka. Luka tu walaupun dah cari ubat macam-macam masih tak sembuh-sembuh. Sakit hati bila susah kita la peneman dia, tapi bila dah senang, kita ditinggalkan terkapai-kapai. Tegur pun dah taknak. Terlalu mengabaikan. Mungkin hanya perasan sendiri, ah, abaikan. Dulu, pernah sekali dia lukakan hati ni. Tapi aku cuba bagi peluang, dengan memegang kata-kata Every man deserves second chance. Tapi perkara yang sama terjadi lagi. Peluang ketiga? Entahlah.

Susah kita nak percaya dah lepas orang tu buat kita macam ni. Tapi biarlah kita memaafkan walaupun orang tu tak rasa salah dengan kita. Kenapa nak teruskan pemberontakan sedangkan dia langsung tak kisah tentang kita. Kenapa perlu dera perasaan sendiri atas benda-benda yang kecil, yang tak masuk akal.

Biarlah masa yang berlalu mengubati hati ini.

Nota hati

Jika ini yang kau impikan, aku turutkan saja. Menerima dengan hati terbuka. Memaksa fikiran untuk tidak memberontak. Mungkin benar katamu. Ini saja jalan yang ada, jalan untuk menghindari kehilangan diri masing-masing. Dan aku meletakkan kepercayaan kepadamu. Aku pasrah dan redha. Kerana Allah sentiasa ada untuk kita. Jika benar kau diciptakan untukku, suatu hari pasti kau akan kumiliki. Andai saja bukan takdir kita bersama, ku relakan segalanya. Dan ku pinta darimu, buangkan saja kenangan lama. Dan bina memori baru dengan berkat Ilahi. Hidup di dunia adalah sebagai hamba Allah, dan kepadaNya lah kita harus meluahkan rasa cinta ini. Insya-Allah.

p/s ::: tiada kaitan dengan diri sendiri atau sesiapa pun. hehe.

Key to my heart

I had closed the door upon my heart
And wouldn't let anyone in,
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
But, that would never happen again.

I had locked the door and tossed the key
As hard, and as far as I could,
Love would never enter there again,
My heart was closed for good.

Then you came into my life
And made me change my mind,
Just when I thought that tiny key
was impossible to find.

That's when you held out your hand
And proved to me I was wrong,
Inside your palm was the key to my heart...

You had it all along.

original poem by : Marsha Hoyt..

Do you?

Do you feel me loving you 
Do you feel me touching you 
Do you feel me wanting you 
Do you feel me honestly loving you

But i do have this fear
Fear for loving you
Fear for wanting you
Fear for lossing you

Let me love you the way i do
Let me love you just the way you are
Let me love you where ever you might
And let me love you for the rest of you

Do you feel me loving you?
Do you feel me so close in your heart?
Do you feel me missing you so much?
Do you feel me loving you honestly?

This is what i got left
The only things and feelings that i had for you
This is the only thing that i wanted to
And please dont take it away from me.
Do you feel me loving you?
And yes i really do!

Lepaskan

Puncak, Indonesia
Credit to Farah for her camera   =)

Pergi pergi dan pergi

Ku lepaskan kau pergi

Untuk yang pertama kali

Dan terakhir

Jiwa meronta hati kacau

Fikiran melayang tubuh terketar

Ah, buat apa aku melayan perasaan ini

Jika akhirnya aku juga yang kecewa

Hilang hilang dan hilang

Hilanglah dikau dari pandangan mata

Hilanglah suaramu dari pendengaranku

Hilanglah dikau dari hidupku

p/s ::: Good luck exam tuk kawan-kawan sama U ngan saya. last paper. and sape yg balek petang ni, take care!